A committed Muslim for twenty-seven years, Abdul Murray talks about the underlying reasons why people aren’t open to honest conversations, focusing on emotional and intellectual barriers. He addresses how to deal with these barriers from personal experience, powerful books, and the example of Jesus.
People don’t have a problem with truth, that’s not the issue; people have a problem with honesty, their reactions to truth. When Bill Clinton committed perjury on the stand, the majority of the nation didn’t want to remove him from office. Why? Because the nation was doing well and no one wanted to change that. Fast-forward a bit, the mayor of Detroit committed the same crime regarding the same act and everyone wanted he to kick him out. Why? Detroit was suffering and people blamed him.
If you look for truth, you may find comfort on the end. If you look for comfort, you will get neither comfort not truth, only soft soap in the beginning and on the end despair. —C.S. Lewis
Whenever you have a conversation with someone, there is always a context. You have to find that context, you must deal with the emotional barriers first.
Three Keys to Having Conversations That Count
Remember: The goal isn’t to win arguments, but to make disciples.
1. Asking open-ended questions - Jesus, Pilate, and the Search for Truth
By asking these types of questions, you can find the context or barriers a person has regarding the subject.
John 18:37-38 — Pilate therefore said to him, “Are you a king then?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this reason I have been born, and for this reason I have come into the world, that I should testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?” When he had said this, he went out again to the Jews, and said to them, “I find no basis for a charge against him. [[John 18#38|]]
Pontius Pilate was a cynic, not a skeptic. A skeptic is someone who doesn’t believe until there is enough evidence. A cynic is someone who won’t believe even if there is enough evidence. In the Passion movie, there is a scene between Pilate and his wife after this moment in John. Pilate mentions the concept of truth quite a few times to his wife, but he never speaks of truth itself. Instead, Pilate brings up the consequences of truth. He only saw what truth costs, but never looked at its worth. To acknowledge the truth of Jesus’s claims would have cost him too dearly. This interaction shows some truths about truth:
- You won’t hear the truth if you don’t want to, no matter who shares it.
- There is a price to be paid for truth.
- People have a problem with honesty, not truth.
2. Listening to the answers - Ask, Listen, Commit
Sample questions:
- Why are you a Muslim, atheist, agnostic, etc.?
- What would happen if you became a Christian?
- What if Jesus is who the Bible says he is?
Now, shut up and listen. Don’t waste time answering questions people aren’t asking. Listen for the emotional “reason” behind their questions and then address those.
3. Committing to evangelism
Go out and fulfill the Great Commission, not the Great Suggestion. Stop trying to win arguments and start making disciples and leading souls to Christ. At the end of the day, remember that it doesn’t matter how many arguments you partake in or how eloquent your speech is, but the number of hearts that opened up to God.